And after 8 Months

Nervous about getting back to this. It's been eight months with a new man and it almost feels too tender to muse about it so soon. I fell hard the last time, and have had a couple false starts in the year between posts. I got to a jaded place about it all and sort of gave up on being part of a two. Things change. There was this evening, when I had a most delicious punch. I thought it would be a hit, a center of attention and we'd stand around the punch and laugh and talk--all of us. Instead on that Mardi Gras February, a new connection was born and at that laugh riot party I planned in my head around whiskey, I stood with him and the room became small and soon it was just us two. We'd taken our masks off by then, and we were just two. I think he never checked his phone those hours we bonded. We melded into one. We had dinner the next day. OK, I invited him to dinner at my place. And that was that. We became intolerable of skipping a day without some sort of contact. Well, we hardly ever miss a day without talking on the phone to be exact. And it goes easily, without much fire, smoke or red flags. There are a couple moments when I had some worries, concerns and so far I've been able to speak them, honestly, vulnerably, with some trepidation, that lessens each time. This is where it hurts. This is what I thought when you said or did that. And I want to believe he's been doing the same. Testing evermore if he can be completely honest with me when something is uncomfortable. Wait, I think he's got some greater ease in doing that. It's me who struggles at times. My good little boy syndrome. He inspires me to let that go. So there. Tentatively, I'm being open. This connection is restoring my faith in love, in relationship, in being a part of two melding into one again. Something I fundamentally believe is a root healing for humans. Love well.