This is my Angry Post

Gay men suck. Really. We survived AIDS and we're fighting for our basic rights today. And now, we are rude to each other in dating. This guy's profile read professional, open hearted, smart, fun, athletic, caring, thoughtful. We bantered back and forth with notes on OK Cupid. He was running a race, would I come by and run with him? Or could we talk on Sunday evening? All sounded inviting, interested...He said text me a plan. I should know that talking is the way to go. Texting allows us to think of the person on the other end as non-human--without feelings, other plans and ideas. Instead, rejecting or not showing up feels as if you'd just put down the phone and taken a break from it, or worst--abandoned your unlocked bicycle. It sucks to lose the bicycle, but there you go, it was your own lack of focus. So I text a plan--let's meet at 1pm, under the Grand Army Arch, on Sunday. He says "sounds great." Sounds great means I'll be there. It says, the plan makes sense, I'll do it. I texted at 12:30pm. I'm on my way and should be there on time. There was no response to that text. 1pm, I texted, "I'm here." It was followed soon by "ravenous." Nothing. No response. I went ahead and took care of myself, I ate, I chillaxed under a tree. It was great. I was reflecting on the "wow" factor of riding 26 miles with Melvin earlier, going across the George Washington Bridge, and swimming in the pool. That was amazing, as amazing as the chicken curry and roti, and the smiling faces of Park Slope neighbors going by. It is a magical day. I'm enjoying it. I'm reminded of that--the sun's out, no clouds, perfect temperature, life is good. I had fun. I was with good guys, good Black men, who show love. I was away from and skipped the call to, my father. I was away from sending him a card with hollow words, lauding him hollowly, because I'm actually angry that he disappeared from my life emotionally, psychologically. He has no bandwidth to love me. And when he does, it's the things he thinks make me happy. All I want is love. A hug, a thoughtful word, time together, not the cleaned apartment, the beautiful things, and all that. I want attention and care. I was ignored today, and told to wait with silence. No. I will not accept that. I want respect, kindness, care. And if I have to teach you to give respect, we're a poor match. Love well. I refuse to give up on love and partnership--with the right person. You failed.